enough to drive you crazy if you let it

[elementalherodragonlord]

THE OFFICE AU MEME

The wonderful thing about RP is that it provides a form of escapism from our humdrum modern lives. Anyway, let's play barbies if they were co-workers in an office and exploit an environment rich for interpersonal conflict and awkward romance.

 

 

how to play

Comment with your character and a few lines about what KRAGOR THE BONECRUSHER is like in an office environment
Tag around with others like it's a Christmas mingle and you're two drinks in

prompt ideas

the new girl - maybe it's your character's first day, maybe it's their first real job or maybe they're showing the new guy the ropes
did you get my email - a catch-all prompt for emailing or texting back and forth
office pranks - obviously this is setting you up to RP Jim putting KRAGOR THE BONECRUSHER'S stapler in jello
called into hr - this can be a gen thread for some chiding or maybe it's an excuse for some flirting
lunch break liaison - your characters "forgot" their sandwich, or maybe their cute co-worker packed them a lunch? maybe the cafe downstairs sucks and so they go for a drive. maybe they take a 2 hour lunch break.
corporate getaway - catch-all for business travel, sharing hotel rooms, can't believe they only had one big bed and we had to share etc etc
work wife - a catch-all for juicy secretary/boss relationships, workplace crushes on your deskmate or the receptionist and maybe a budding relationship built on a mutual hate of printers
impress the boss (/performance review) - how your character chooses to make a good impression is their business. maybe they're the boss? maybe they're just ambitious Assistant to the Regional Manager.
charity dinners - characters are obligated to arrange some sort of offsite dinner or event and all the stress that comes with that
didn't know you existed out of work - nothing more awkward than seeing your boss on the weekend, except maybe if your boss invites themself to have lunch with you

Comments

Seto Kaiba

[alldragoneverything]

[This guy is 100% your boss's boss's boss, he owns everything you touch in this office building. Kaiba has owned this entertainment corporation since he was, like, 12 or something, and he's been running it to great success. You should feel lucky to work for Kaiba Corp., the benefits are surprisingly generous and in some way you're working towards a greater goal--or, so Kaiba believes. Not everyone understands the depth of his vision, especially when he seems to go off the deep end and have his developers work on some bonkers fever dream project. But, y'know, you have to give it to the guy, Kaiba Land's international locations are very affordable and geared towards making sure all children can enjoy an amusement park.]

[Anyway, dude's a total asshole if you ever get to meet him. He's been done acting nice and friendly since he was 15. In whatever AU you want he can be 18 or idk 25. He's still obsessed with dragons either way.]

[That's another thing: your office? Decked out in Blue-Eyes White Dragon nonsense from the laser-cut images on the glass doors to the Keurig in the break room. The man has an Aesthetic and it's dragons. How did he get the license to the IP from Industrial Illusions? Don't worry about it.]

[Kaiba Corp offices exist in Japan and America, with Kaiba making personal trips to each of them periodically. Where there's a big blue building there's a Kaiba Land somewhere within driving distance with shuttles running from public transit stops to the park itself, free of charge. Again, cool stuff going on, but Kaiba himself gives off the complete opposite vibe. He's 6'1" and will absolutely use that height to tower over everyone. Good luck!]

Tetsuya Kuroko

[mybasketball]

[My boy is the 100% generic front line staff. He isn't really going above and beyond in his job because the place he is going above and beyond is his outside-of-work basketball hobby. Alternatively, if there is a basketball team through work, he is EXCELLING there. In the office you might not even realize you have a coworker named Tetsuya Kuroko. Is there someone even in that cubicle at the end of the hall? Who's to say, really.]

Honey Surana

[sweetbomb]

[Whatever the job is she's doing a specialized form of it. Not necessarily managing but doing something that requires a specific type of education. That or something more people-facing. She's great at customer service even if she hates doing it.]

Oren Lavellan

[ash_elvhen]

[I think Oren is HR. So. Do with that what you will.]

this is stupid hello

[quietgardens]

[So, here's the thing about sales conferences: they tend to have them in lavish, vacation-worthy locations. Nobody has a flashy sales conference in Connecticut. You can't put masturbatory posts on LinkedIn about that. Today's event is in an expensive Florida hotel, with on-site amenities somewhere between a spa and a small water park.]

[There is no reason for Taashath or Oren to be at this conference. Oren works in HR and Taashath is a systems administrator. They do not work in sales. But here's the thing-- if your boss wants to go on an expensive trip to Florida on the company's dime, it's much easier to do so if you aren't just going by yourself. Why not grab your best employees? We're learning from cross-departmental education! It isn't just an excuse!]

[Never mind that sales conferences are very stupid to begin with. Across the crowded hall a man in a hawaiian shirt and sunglasses that look bedazzled is giving a speech that sounds like a frat bro having a fever dream about selling NFTs. Taashath makes meaningful eye contact with Oren, trusted work friend and the only person he knows on this trip that isn't his boss, and tilts his head towards the door.]

[He does not want to be in the room anymore, thank you.]

it's so funny...

[ash_elvhen]

[Theoretically, it almost makes sense for Oren to be at this conference. If there are conflicts or issues that need to be reported, he's here! Or so his boss says anyway. He knows this is an excuse to stay in a fancy hotel and charge the company for it. It's stupid but Oren doesn't have it in him to care too much. Well, not past anything he's responsible for anyway, like making sure everyone has a room to sleep in.

Oren is so glad Taashath asked him to room together. He was definitely overthinking whether it would be appropriate to assign them to be roommates when Oren has a crush on Taashath. Problem solved! Well, one problem solved. They keep being forced to attend all these pointless events with the worst people Oren has ever met.

Today, it's less a talk and more a networking event, which means it's even more pointless than usual. It could maybe be useful for recruiting but that isn't really Oren's job. In the moment he has that thought, Oren catches Taashath's look. He returns it with an exasperated one of his own and a subtle nod. Time to go.

If Oren wasn't so tall he'd be able to disappear into the crowd but he can at least use that power to help Taashath, who is much smaller than him, get out without notice. He shuffles Taashath in front of him, makes some bland excuse to his boss, who isn't listening, about where they're going and gets them out the door.]

This is exhausting...

[quietgardens]

[Being gently herded into the hallway gives Taashath a fleeting appreciation for sheep. It's rather nice. The air out here is cooler, having significantly fewer ex-frat boys contributing to the humidity. Taashath takes a deep breath and sighs through his nose.]

Truly. If I wanted to listen to a man who doesn't understand basic economical models talk about integrating cryptocurrency into everything, I could have browsed twitter at home.

[He shakes his head.]

Do you want to track down something to eat? My boss has already escaped to the pool.

[ash_elvhen]

[Taashath is always so good at making Oren laugh, so, in spite of the annoying circumstances, Oren finds himself chuckling.]

Please, I can't stand this anymore. I think they have some food near the main event hall but if you'd rather avoid the...questionable...crowds, we could just...leave....

[Oren is trying so hard to be polite but he very clearly is not impressed by the salesmen who have chosen to attend this event.]

Ellana "Egg" Lavellan

[inthistryingtime]

[So, Egg doesn't want to be in a senior leadership position, but things happen and volunteering to fill in while the CEO hires for a new person sometimes just means you end up getting all the responsibilities with none of the benefits. Fuck this job!]

Aerith Gainsborough

[a_flower_girl]

[Aerith probably does a little of everything. One of those wears a lot of hats type of workers, and she enjoys that. Her main job is people-facing and you always know you're near her cubicle because of all the plants she keeps at the office. They're kind of taking over. Paperwork, who? This spot is for another plant.]

Sayu Yagami

[whysokidnapped]

[Another people-facing worker, she's on the front-line lower level and doesn't really have any ambition to do more than that. She's great at sales though, very convincing.]

Haruhi Fujioka

[obliviousraccoon]

[Well somebody has to do corporate law.]

Namine

[lonelywitch]

[Namine is in the graphic design department.]